Struggling With Fat

I’m fat.  It does not make me less of a person, as with anyone like me but there you are.  I work out often and can do various active and demanding things.  However, I’m fat.  I’m seeking a way to be less so.  However, it would not serve my purpose to deny the truth or otherwise, try to explain it in another way.  There has been a recent discussion on the notion of being fat and even a new concept – fat-shaming.  It is an interesting look at a culture trying to address something but trying to do so without specifically naming the problem or the condition.

I’ve hired a trainer and have recently tried to make a more serious effort to lose weight.  My problem is two-fold – I eat horribly unhealthy and delicious food and I don’t work out enough.  The problem clearly lies with me.  I was once healthy and in shape but that was some time ago.  So, I seek a way to drop the pounds for health and family reasons.  In short, I’d like to be with my family well into the future and at present, I’m one steak dinner away from a full coronary.  I have no excuse and there is little that anyone can say to tell me otherwise.  However, in the last year or so, there has been a growing furor over the nature of being fat and what to do about it.   

Were you aware there are a group of people who are trying to convince fat people that it is ok to be so?  They have attacked others for actions they call fat-shaming.  Most of what I’ve seen as examples of fat-shaming seems more about the perpetrator being a jerk.  What that has led to is a movement to have people proudly love and accept their size.  Even the word “fat” is starting to take on the connotation of other words directed at people for their race or ethnicity.  What is being accomplished here?  Are people mean?  Sure and for many other reasons in addition to seeing someone who is fat.  Are people well-intentionally ignorant?  Yes and particularly when confronted with something that is hurting someone they love.  So, if you take away the jerks and the well-meaning friends or family, what are we talking about?   

We need an honest and frank discussion about size in this country, without the hyperbole.  Calls for healthier living and weight levels are not calls for anorexia or bulimia or any other chase for unhealthy weight standards.  These aforementioned activists have even attacked those who are making general calls for healthier living, such as Maria Kang – the mother of three who seeks to encourage others to get in shape.  First Lady Michelle Obama said that her push for healthier lunch items in school is not about weight but about feeling better and healthier.  Sure but if we cannot even say the condition for fear of hurting feelings, we are not addressing the issues.   

When Amy Chua – Tiger Mom extraordinaire – called her daughter fat and lazy, I can’t imagine that young lady ending up in therapy wondering about how others see her and whether they respect her.  She was told upfront and there was never a doubt about it.  Compare that to the teen who has been told, “No, you are not fat.  You are beautiful and wonderful and people who don’t see that are not worth your time.”  Deep down, however, the teen knows they are fat but they are surrounded by people who won’t say it.  Is there any wonder that emotional issues develop?   

Part of the reaction by these activists is defensiveness.  Some of the reaction is from well-meaning people who worry about others being hurt.  However, you cannot fix a problem without first addressing it.  I know some will find my attitude callous or unsympathetic.  However, it is coming from one who is dealing with the same thing.  I’m worse than some and not nearly as bad as others.  Yet, the challenge is the same even if the scale is not.  Shakespeare said that a rose is still a rose no matter what you call it.  So it is with the concept of being fat.  It does not help to run from a name.